The Compassion Hypothesis
A Reflection by: Andrew Osei
The following piece of writing is solely an exercise to attempt to work out the codependent concepts of passion and compassion. How it relates to me and how some of the universal characteristics may apply to you, the reader. I vow to be as truthful and open as possible, even if that means committing myself to the truth, which may be painful and paint my character in a bad light. I must be truthful if not to you, at least to myself. “Know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free.” Let’s lay out the structure of this paper. In the first paragraph, I will break down the concepts of compassion and passion from an intellectual standpoint. The next block of text addresses my own shortcomings and inadequacies as someone who lacked a passion for myself, and how that ultimately led to a lack of compassion for others. I will present this through personal, anecdotal accounts from my own life. In the last paragraph, talk about the first time I watched the movie "The Passion of the Christ" and how I internalized this as a child, and my actions following and how that story of the “old rugged cross” shaped my understanding of the world. Let’s go on this adventure and see where this exercise leads me and which bird revelation I might uncover about myself.
“A Community Church with a Passion for God and Compassion for People”. This was written in white block lettering on a blue banner that I had to help hang up at Lisle Memorial Baptist Church every Sunday (before I started attending Bedside Baptist). I could not comprehend these words at all; they made no sense, except for the slick wordplay between 'Passion' and 'Compassion'. This banner inspired this paper and its title. Let's start with the word “Passion.” The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines three data points of modes of reference for the word passion. They are as follows: Emotion, Love, and Suffering. That is one bipolar word. Very hot and cold. I say that from a place of humour since I am bipolar myself, and if life continues to weigh you down long enough, you might just blow out mentally at your weakest point, and you might become schizophrenic…or alcoholic.
Different strokes for different folks. What is the common thread between the words emotion, suffering, and love? Based on my current understanding, the ability to express feelings as humans leads to suffering. There are many emotions one can experience, and each has its consequences. The two extremes of emotional extremes are Mania and Depression. This was actually the name for Bipolar disorder. I like this black and white name better than bipolar disorder because it states it for what it is—the two extreme emotional states of being. The prefix [com] in compassion means [with], and [passion] means [suffering]. Combined, the word compassion means to “suffer with.” That is where the hang-up is for me. My mode of reasoning is as follows. I have my bitter cup to bear, and I have been to hell and back through my life experiences on top of all of that, managing my sanity. To be quite frank with you, I have developed a remarkably thick emotional skin that is almost impenetrable, to say the least.
A friend of mine, whom I care deeply about, came to me with some sad news: a rapper he liked to listen to had been shot while grabbing lunch at a Chick-fil-A. I made a joke about the situation by saying, “Well, that is why I use Uber Eats.” It was a very insensitive thing for me to say since my friend Peter grew up around a lot of violence, and he was merely expressing a situation that could have possibly been his own. Honestly speaking, humour is how my primitive brain processes atrocities of all kinds. I make backhanded comments in a joking manner so they don't reach the processing part of my brain. I cannot go around caring about everyone's problems. It is not my place or responsibility, and said individuals need to confront their issue head-on. This form of thinking isn't very Christ-like. Back to the banner I would hang on the wall. I believe it holds some truth, at least. In the context in which it is framed, " Passion for God means 'Love of God”. Now I invoke the name of God since this is a personal exercise. I don’t mean to shove my beliefs down anyone’s throat. You may refer to God as a “Higher Power.” Once again, different strokes for different folks. I firmly believe that for one to show love, he/she must first be shown an example of ultimate love through self-sacrifice. This is the perfect segue to the last paragraph, which tells the most universally known story of Jesus Christ.
The Passion of the Christ was one hell of a movie. Starting with the title “The Passion of the Christ”. In this context, I wholeheartedly believe it was mainly derived from the Bible passage in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world.” Reading these words was oxymoronic. Didn’t God already drown everyone in the story of Noah? Didn’t he burn Sodom and Gomorrah to smithereens? The God of the biblical Old Testament accounts was very bipolar: do something wrong, and there would be lightning. For this same God to turn completely 180 degrees in a loving attitude toward us earthlings was unbelievable and remarkable. I remember the movie vividly. I couldn't relate to the suffering of Jesus; it never resonated with me.
Although it was pretty gory, this aspect of the movie didn't strengthen my case. I am naturally polite and generous. If a friend or family member is in distress, the instinct isn’t just to console them, but to come up with the perfect blend of tactics and strategies to alleviate their pain. Come to think of it, there have also been numerous occasions when I have been compassionate towards others. I am my worst critic, so if Andrew has said hurtful things to you, just try your best to understand that I have said 100 times worse to myself through negative self-talk. I could relate more to the Roman soldiers than to those who crucified Jesus and cast lots for his clothing. As a matter of fact, I would have been in the crowd yelling “crucify him”. Does it make me a terrible human being or just not mature enough to process suffering with others as if their troubles were my own?
In closing, by extending my time, energy, and resources to assist those who are suffering, my kindness will be confused for weakness. I am a nice guy, but when pushed to the limit, I completely lose my self-composure, which brings out the devil in me. I have this philosophy that “If I am going to be your friend, I am going to be your best friend and go to hell and back for you. Antagonize me and I will make your life hell on earth.” I think it is the sum of all the pain and trauma I've been through that has forced me to build the walls of Jericho around myself.
